Adell DeGraffenried | Introduction

To be precise, I was never at your Great-Aunt-Bertha's wedding, I do not have "one of those faces", and NO- I was not a part of the crusade to find King Tut. I am, however, an earwiggler.
My ears are my greatest asset and have been since that fateful day in 7th grade Algebra. I was playing with my rather juicy pencil, wondering what it would be like to be a beaver. This thought lead me to another thought (as thoughts often do). What if I were that stupid Disney elephant who could wiggle his ears? What would my Father and Uncle's reaction be? Most likely they would give me a ceremony of sorts, congratulating me on becoming a true DeGraffenried, and then initiate me into the clan. You see, we are prominate ear-wigglers in whatever part of the world we choose to occupy. I don't mean the grab-your-ear-with-your-finger wiggler. I mean a true, blue blooded, no touching your head, ear wiggler.
Anyway as I sat there in Algebra, wondering if I should get plugs to stop my brains from leaking out of my ears, it hit me like a manna from Moses: I was WIGGLING MY EARS!
It was my finest hour. I wiggled and wiggled. Subconciously I wiggled. Consciously I wiggled. I wiggled until I had the strongest ear muscles in the nation- (some day the world).
My dad looked at me with the expression of a moose seeing its calf grow antlers when I showed him at dinner that night. It was then I knew...I was the modern equivilant of that stupid Disney elephant.