I NEED to...

"Is it raining outside?," She asks and I pause. Is it raining. Couldn't she hear the rain? Couldn't she smell it saturate the dusty air? I can't respond for a minute, holding back the things I want to push past the end of my tounge. "I can't see the rain from this side of the house." Something colosal crunches in my mouth as I realize- it's true. If Moses had built a wall of water between her yard and the rest of the world, it wouldn't have made any difference in the long run. "Yeah mom, it's raining on this side of the house. Watering your tomatoes." There was no response...just the cool, wet beats keeping time with the ringing silence in my ears.

Spectrum

This summer has gone by like it wasn't meant to happen, and instead of crying to anyone who has ears about how fast it went by, I have been left in awe and wonder that summer even happened. There can be no regret for what never really was a part of my life. The world I live in has been flipped into a catalyst of a rainbow with each new scene appearing through a color appropriate for the emotion surrounding it. What began as a peachy keen warm situation in May evolved into a blacker shade of plum...I swear at one point I could taste the bitterness of my own breath when I came home to a place where my anger resonated louder than the aging dishwasher. Strangely enough, after two months of the plum-colored movement, the strings choking me cut off the air to my lungs long enough that I had an epiphany: I am not required to endure anything I have power over. I don't need to watch the hands of a digital clock move invisibly around my life until the only thing I can touch is the developing wrinkles around my eyes. Gradually the plum shifted lavender, and within two weeks from lavender (July-ish), the lens were budding into the same color found in strawberry soda. Like most amazing things in life, the high faded in the wash, but now I am finding peace in the graying pink. The only real question left to ask is whether or not I can handle a summer that was a brilliant color instead of an essay worthy event.